Bacon, Cheese, and Ketchup

Method

1. Read all the instructions before beginning.

2. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C).

3. Cook the bacon crispy — you'll need 1½–2 slices per serving. How crispy? Just crispy enough that it breaks apart easily by hand. On a 1–10 scale where 10 is burned, 8 is crumbly in your hands, 4 is chewy, and 1 is probably not safe to eat, take it to about a 7 at this stage — it'll reach an 8 once the finished sandwich goes into the oven. (Was this too much bacon detail? No — bacon is important.)

4. Lightly toast the white bread — ideally Wonder Bread or other similarly terrible bread.

5. While the toast is still warm, lay on a slice of cheddar, then the bacon (broken in half so it fits), and top with ketchup. On the amount, opinions differ — some drizzle it like frosting onto a toaster strudel, some insist on a thin layer. Go with a somewhat generous drizzle, maybe four or five lines. You should be able to taste the ketchup in every bite.

6. Into the oven for 5–10 minutes, until the cheese gets a little melty and the ketchup starts to caramelize. Don't let the ketchup burn.

   10 min